The Silent Generation

Madonna Minus Retouching

2009-04-03T20:35:00.005-04:00

Crazy shit-- a photo from Madonna's Hard Candy sessions has been released without the retouching.

Ok, I'm not gonna lie, she kind of looks like a hag. BUT-- the retouched photo is so much more ridiculous. She has digital skin!!

Between trying to buy more kids from Malawi and this pic surfacing, Madge just really can't catch a break lately.

Bummer Madge.

Maury Mania: Teen Has Sex For Cheeseburgers

2009-03-17T02:49:00.004-04:00

My kind o' lady:

Best part:
Maury: If you're trying to get pregnant with five men how will you know who the father is?
Slutty Cheeseburger Teen: CUZ I'LL BE RIGHT BACK ON THE MAURY SHOW MOTHERFUCKER!

I was on the Maury show a month ago (in the audience...) and all I got was fucking paternity tests. I want Cheeseburger Teens!

Dora the Explorer Finally Reaches Slutty Potential

2009-03-17T01:38:00.001-04:00

WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME!

After nine years of being an bi-lingual, sassy, and positive lil' role model for young girls, Dora the Explorer is finally getting the makeover we've all been waiting for.

According to the press release: "As tweenage Dora, our heroine has moved to the big city, attends middle school and has a whole new fashionable look."

At last, Dora is finally catching up with the rest of the world and is growing the FUCK up. Now instead of episodes about the alphabet and morality lessons, Dora can solve fun mysteries about lip gloss and learn the art of seduction.

The press release goes on to talk about how "innovative" the new Dora is, incorporating TV! Internet! Dolls! Beauty! MAGIC!:

"This exciting innovation in computer-connected play offers girls a unique interactive experience: as girls are playing online they can customize their doll and watch as she magically transforms right before their eyes. For example, by changing Dora’s hair length, jewelry, and eye color on screen, the Dora doll magically changes as well."

Soooo excited for this new positive roll model for all of us girlz to look up to.

Penis Enlarging Energy Drink

2009-03-17T01:35:00.001-04:00

EXTENZE HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!

After years of energy drink use, I still haven't quite found the one that really works for me. Red Bull "gives you wings", Sparks "gets you drunk", but none of them get that special part of my body pumped up, throbbing and growing, pumpin me up to pump my girl all night.

Pump.

Pump.

Pump.

But Extenze has an answer that's gonna get all of our dicks hard-- a PENIS ENLARGING ENERGY DRINK!! Finally I can leave the penis pump at home when I go out to party and can now multi-task by simply sucking down an Extenze.

The only question I have is-- as a lady (which I am, if you couldn't tell in this gender-bending blog post), what will happen to me if I drink this? Will my gunt expand in length and width? Will I start to "show"?:

I like to imagine the types of broz that hang out together while knocking back a few Extenze.

"Dude this shit is soooo epic, I can feel my member's circumference growing by the gulp!"

So go buy some!

'The District'

2009-02-11T14:38:00.003-05:00

This 'The Hills/The City' parody is amazing. 'The District' is tells the story from Obama's point of view in a Lauren Conrad-esque way. Oliva Palermo cameo gives it bonus points.

"There's no excitement, there's no passion. It's just like groundhog day every day."

2008-12-01T00:19:00.000-05:00

Today was Britney Day on MTV. The premiere of her documentary Britney: For The Record aired, revealing all of the intimate details of the past year in the life of Britney Spears. It's unbelievably heartbreaking, and puts her in a light like you've never seen her in before.

Britney is a phenomenon. She is the Marilyn Monroe of our generation. She is everything that fame and superstardom is made of. And it's such a rare kind of person that leads this type of existence. She continually brings up the idea of having a family, and wanting to get away from it all. She refers to her life as a prison at one point. There's a time where she pauses, stares out the window for a good ten seconds, begins to cry and simply says, "I'm sad." She can't walk down the street to get a cup of coffee without an army of paparazzi and fans stalking her.

Will it ever change? Will people ever back off? How do we fight the obsession of "celebrity". It's terrifying and sad what people get put through. These people are constantly stalked and it's pretty sick.

Earlier tonight my friend and I were trimming the Christmas tree in my small New York apartment... and we thought it would be funny to top the tree with the infamous bald Britney picture. After watching this... I'm not sure how I feel about it. She opens up about shaving her head, and about essentially having a nervous breakdown. I don't think it's cool to make fun of somebody who's obviously suffering...

But you have to admit, it kind of works.

Highlights from the program:

-Madonna providing a moment of Superstar Insight

-Britney referring to Kevin as her "baby's daddy"

-Britney holding up an ugly blouse and saying, "This is sooo Katie Holmes"

-SEAN PRESTON-JAYDEN JAMES CAMEO OMFG

-Her opening up about Justin, Kevin, SAM LUFTI, shaving her head, etc, etc, etc.

This girl needs to be left alone for a little while. She can pursue her career as far as she wants, but she deserves to be able to live like a human being. No one should have to fear for their life when walking from the car to the entrance of a building. No one should have to feel the need that they owe something to the entire world... and that they must live in a bubble in order to fulfill that "need".

There needs to be boundaries that are set for these people. We can't build celebrities up to unattainable expectations-- it can only lead to insanity. Something's got to give.

The Beginning of the End

2008-11-30T23:36:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to start this blog for a while. The idea came to me a few months ago. I find myself constantly reflecting on the world around me... about culture, and the world that we live in.

The idea behind "The Silent Generation" started when hearing that that was what my youth group was being classified as. Silent. The concept of this terrifies me.

When you think about how we've grown accustomed to communicating. Texting, Facebook, E-Mail. It's so instant. And unavoidable. And most of all, silent. A generation sitting on our asses, apathetic about apathy.

You look at the past eight years of corruption in the American government... and up until recently (mostly in part because of the interest the election generated), everything was kept quiet. Both with the corruptors and with us as the youth of the nation.

I don't want to be silenced, and it may seem like the ultimate oxymoron, I'm taking to a blog (yet another silent form of speech) to just get my voice out there. I want to provide some of my own insight to the fucked up world we live in.

So here goes.